How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Trust Me Again? Steps to Take to Rebuild the Relationship

You messed up. Your boyfriend knows it and you know it too. You wish you could take back what happened, but you can’t. You feel as though you’ve completely ruined any chance you may have had for a future with him. You probably haven’t. If you’re asking the question, “How do I get my boyfriend to trust me again,” the answer is really very straightforward. You’re going to have to roll up your sleeves, find all the patience you can muster and get to work making him believe in you again.

Breaking the trust of someone you love is a horrible thing. It leaves a lingering feeling of confusion and regret in their minds. If your boyfriend had no idea of your betrayal until you confessed, he’ll also likely feel very embarrassed. It’s even more overwhelming if he was confronted with it by someone else. It doesn’t really matter if you lied to him, cheated on him or did something you knew he wouldn’t approve of. The end result is still the same. He’s in emotional pain because of you.

Start the path to forgiveness by telling him you regret your actions. Unless you mean it, you shouldn’t be apologizing. You also shouldn’t be trying to piece the relationship back together. You must have and feel genuine remorse for what you did. You need to be able to recognize that it was wrong and that it caused deep pain in the person you love most.

After you’ve made an attempt to apologize, you need to give your boyfriend some time to process what happened. Naturally, you want him to say that all is forgiven and for the relationship to move forward without missing a beat. That’s just not possible. Forgiveness and the rebuilding of trust take time. You made a mistake and for the foreseeable future you have to work on making amends for that.

Depending on what happened, your boyfriend is likely to have some questions for you. These aren’t going to be easy to answer, but you have to do it if you want to save the relationship. You also need to be as honest as you can be without hurting his feelings further. Don’t try and blame him for your mistake. Even though you may feel internally as though you had no choice to do what you did, he won’t see it that way at all. He wants you to take full responsibility, and you need to.

Rebuilding the lost trust is all about establishing new behaviour patterns. Your boyfriend will very likely be suspicious of you for the time being. He may want to check your cell phone more often or he may ask you not to be on your computer in private. If you had an affair, he’s also going to want to know where you are more of the time. You have to be willing to make concessions if you want the relationship to get back to the trusting place it once was. Do whatever you can to appease his suspicions and to show him that you’ve changed. In time, the mistake you make will fade into the background, and your character and love for him will shine through.

More Rebuild Credit Articles

7 Tips For How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

A relationship without trust is in trouble. Trust could be lost by an affair or any of a number of other reasons. This article will give you some ideas on how to rebuild trust in a relationship.

You have to understand that true trust is something that is developed over time, but lost in an instant. It therefore can take quite some period of time to rebuild trust. Do not despair or give up, just work diligently toward it.

If trust was broken by an affair, the marriage can survive and many do. The first thing to do in the case of an affair is, of course, to completely end the affair and all contact with the other person. If that means changing jobs or moving, do it.

As for specifically how to rebuild trust in a relationship:

1) The best definition of truth I have heard is when the word and the deed are one. Say what you will do and do it. Never say you did not do something if you did it. If you promise to be somewhere at a given time either be there or at least call to announce any delay.

2) Complete honesty is a must. Lies just are not going to work. The less you lie the less you have to remember! Tell the truth to your partner and that will encourage him or her to be truthful with you. This helps begin the trust rebuilding.

3) Do not try to keep secrets. In a brand new relationship there are things you would be wise not to share, but in a marriage or long term relationship that is just not the case. If the secret comes out from a source other than you the rebuilding of trust is jeopardized.

4) Show some faith in your partner and your relationship. This might require a little stretching on your part, but if you act suspicious of your partner you encourage them to be suspicious of you. That kind of relationship is no fun.

5) Understand that there will be bumps in the road, that is normal. Never make a mountain out of a mole hill, discuss concerns or problems and get everything out in the open. Be reasonable with your partner and not make unfair demands.

6) Always be courteous in your speech with your partner. Nagging about anything is a real drag on a relationship. If he or she promised to do something and did not, mention it and ask for it to be done, but do so firmly and politely with an expectation of fulfillment of the promise.

7) Expect yourself to do what is right. Give yourself credit where due and simply acknowledge weaknesses with a commitment to work on them.

Relationships require trust between the two parties. Do not expect miracles over night, but work toward trust on a daily basis.